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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries.


  2008.10.07  13.51
Please help - pass this on!

"Cyber-bullying: The Effects on Transgender Victims" is a research study about how the presence of social support relates to depression and life satisfaction levels in transgender victims of cyber-bullying.

Are you at least 18 years old?
Are you a member of the transgender community?
Have you ever been harassed on the Internet?
Do you want to help contribute to psychological research of transgendered people?

Copy/paste this link to participate in the study.


It will require no identifying information from its participants and will take approximately 25 minutes of your time.

Thank you!

The study needs a larger number of participants sooner rather than later - thanks for your time!



  2008.08.15  12.03


we're just going to copy our intro from gb_guys because it's the same thing really!

So yeah, this is an intro of sorts, from the guys (or non-females anyway) in our female bodied system (oh the horrors).


  2008.07.24  21.28
Sexual Orientation

On the question of orientation how many of you identify gay/bi/gender queer. Do you think it's attributed to the folks in your system or host?

We are working through in therapy the possibility of being bi if not gay.



  2008.07.21  23.26
Intro and Question

Hi I'm Matt and now feel like I am at some kind of support meeting or something...

Anyways. Our body is 34 and we range anywhere from 4 to 38 or so and gay to straight to bi. We think there is about 18 of us. Some not of this world. Matt the host is 25 and is living as him self as a man making us a FTM.

We have all sorts of parts and wanted to know if others let their parts run around on LJ? Some of the guys are really digging the FTM personal community. What are your thoughts.

Oh yah we are now legally married to a women that supports us mentally and we really don't wont to betray her

The Quorum

Mood: curious

  2008.07.08  03.36

Hi I'm Sam, a 31 year old trans guy(FTM) who's also the core personality to a System of 13 alters(ages 1 year to 41) and various genders. I came out a year ago and began to transition, went full time as of January 8th 2008 and almost quit in April of this year because I thought I couldn't be both trans and DID. 

It took alot of courage and self understanding tor realize I can live with both and am much happier being myself(male) and my System benefits ten fold from that. 

Sometimes I feel alone among the online LJ trans groups because I have DID and go about my day a bit differently than other trans guys my age; thanks for letting me join. 


  2008.04.17  17.11
my dad's dead...i can't do this

(crossposted to transabusevic and maybe somewhere else)

from the ages of 2 until i was 21, and even a few times after i left home

he was a good man in public.  loved.  compassionate.  caring.

i feel sad because he was starting to accept me as his son.
relieved but scared because the nightmares and flashbacks will never cease
guilty about my relief
furious at G-d for not giving me a chance to get some closure...for both of us

he'd been better lately.  so much better.

we (my entire system and I) were pretty damn close to even forgiving-

But, he died.  Is it a sin to speak ill of the dead who cannot defend themselves?  Spent all last week saying nothing but good thing after good thing.  maybe we can't talk about it any more.  maybe we won't.  secrets and silence-

now, he'll never get to see me start T

but i dont have to worry about my kids...

i dont know what the fuck we are supposed to do with this

i want death.  i want blood.  i want burns.

i'm confused and i'm overwhelmed with all the bad shit that happened to us BEFORE his death, this semester

my therapist seems to think i'll get through this.
so do my friends.


i don't think i'm as high-functioning as i have led them to believe
i'm liable to disappear for a few months, the first chance i get- maybe i won't come back even
or i could stay inside, let an angry gay boy live my life for a while...or maybe even a blank state

catatonia sounds very appealing


i am so fucked.....

Mood: annoyed

  2007.03.13  15.27
GenderQueer Revolution at Trans Leadership Summit: 1) Workshops and 2) Coffeetalk

3/25/07 - GenderQueer Revolution at Trans Leadership Summit, at USC. (Please forward to others!)

Read more...Collapse )


  2007.02.22  09.56
Help needed



  2006.10.20  00.30

(Please let me know if this post is offensive or not allowed and I’ll delete it promptly.)

Hi everyone,

(For anyone who doesn’t know me, I’m an almost 17 year old out lesbian high school student from Sydney, Australia.)Well, this year I’m in my final year of school in Australia and I’m doing my Higher School Certificate (that’s, um, like the equivalent of the final college exams for you Americans and Brits) and one of my courses is 2 Unit Drama. For this I have to present a 6 – 8 minute Individual Performance and I wish to write a piece based on the life of a pre-op transgendered person (at the moment I’m thinking FtM but that may change) to try and challenge myself and raise awareness and acceptance. For this reason I’m asking anyone who is willing to talk to me about their experiences as a transgendered person (FtM, MtF, post-op, pre-op – it doesn’t matter, any help would be invaluable to me) to help me compose my piece. You can email me at silver_qwerty@hotmail.com. Also, any transgendered people in the Sydney, Australia region who are willing to meet up with me, especially FtM, would be absolutely fantastic. Thanks so much guys.

Love Liv xxx

X-posted to other GLBTQ communities across LiveJournal.


  2006.10.14  05.07

GenderQueer Revolution, the national organization dedicated to empowering people of all genders, helping people to embrace the gift of gender in their own lives and in the lives of others, supporting and cultivating genderqueer, gender-gifted individuals and communities, uniquely gender-gifted art, spirituality, research, and academics, and educating and building bridges across trans, gendered, queer, and non-queer communities and beyond....

...has a MySpace. Become a Friend to GQR today! For those of you who prefer connecting and staying informed through MySpace, becoming a MySpace Friend to GQR will enable you to stay current with GQR and genderqueer events, opportunities, updates, and news, and you just might make some friends with other gender-gifted, gender-fabulous people across the nation, maybe the world.

Read more...Collapse )


  2006.09.05  20.35
I need some advice...

I'm a 24 year old diabetic (Type I) aspie transman with DID/MPD. I'm also a recovering anorexic (or so they tell me) and when I get more anxious or stressed, my OCD and anorexia seems to "flare up". I start gender therapy on Monday (unless she cancels again) and hope to legally change my name and start T sometime this school year.

I guess I am mainly asking for advice on how to calm myself down. My coping skills don't seem to be working and I haven't eaten today. I'm too nervous to eat. I've tried painting, writing, listening to music, breathing, taking a warm bath, watching movies, reading - yet it doesn't seem to be working. Any other ideas? I'm also getting strong urges to cut (No SI since January of 2005) which I am also battling.

I guess I'm worried the gender therapist may decide I'm not fit for transition. Ironically that made my problems flare up more, just worrying about that.

- Isaac

Mood: anxious

  2006.07.27  19.47

My name's Mike and I'm pre-everything. I'm 18 and out to 98% of my friends who are pretty cool about me being transgendered although they still call me by my birth name for the most part. I used to rarely bind, but am begining to do it more often, hopefully daily althought its with ACE bandages. I do not pack, use a STP device, or go into the male restrooms. My father knows, but completly ignores the fact and the rest of my family has no idea.

Here's my questions:

I'm a senior in high school, and in JROTC (I love the program and Idk if me being out would create an issue). Would it be a good move to come out to the highschool so I could graduate under my prefered name? I'm worried about the Staff and Administration reaction, not as much the students.

Also, what can I start under the radar living in my house without my parents knowing this year to get a jump on transistioning??

Does anyone know of some good colleges in TX that are friendly with Transistioning??

Anything else that you all know that could help me out???


  2006.06.26  14.07

We have just joined livejournal after finding the link to this community on the "Antijen" web site. (Any long term antijen peeps might know us as Becky or Rachael from Glasgow in Scotland) We've never had any experince of livejournal / blogs etc. Though we have our own web site that we are never happy with! Hopefully we'll get the hang of lj quickly.

We are collectivly known as The Gang. We are basically MtF. The guys dont see it that way of course!! Our body age is 34. Quite often we would describe ourselves as an empowered multiple, but when we get stressed, we are pretty poor at coping and get quite switchy.

Rachael for The Gang

Mood: anxious

  2006.02.20  10.58
Hello peoples :)

Hiya! My name is Jamie. I just found this group by chance and I'm curious to see it as it gets off the ground. I knew I wasn't the only one :)

I'm a 24 year old transwoman going through transition and trying to get out of debt. My DID has a long history that I only began understanding about a year ago. I'm making some major progress with it. If you're interested, please check out my LJ posts, particularly the ones with the "DID" tag.


  2005.09.14  19.31
quick intro

my name is ethan and i am a 46 year old, African/Native American, disabled, multiple FTM. i just joined the community today and i'm glad y'all are here. i'm sure i'll be writing more later. i am in my last year at a community college with a dual major in Human Services and Photography. it's kinda insane for me right now, but i'm really glad to be busy again. again, thanks for being here.
ethan, of Hawk's family

Mood: busy

  2005.05.20  16.13
hi and and an introduction.

hi. we go by storyteller as a system. we stopped counting at about 220, there are many many more than that. so, we run the gamut on everything from age to gender to religion, to interests, etc. the youngest boy we met so far is about 6, and the oldest is 34. my parnter and i, coginthenose, and i were asked to speak at a beyond binaries class a few years ago.

The following is a piece taken from the intro paragraph about us that we wrote for a transgendered speaking panel we took part in for that class
Storyteller is. At least most of the time.

Storyteller is a collection of complementary and at times oppositional realities.

Storyteller is a short, fat, poly, kinky, pagan, disabled multiple survivor and
semi-androgenous bisexual country dyke.

Storyteller is a lot of other things that don't fit into nice simple lables and

Storyteller's gender is somewhat fluid, though it tends to stay relatively
mid-range. When they put a lable to it, they tend to feel that fairly
androgenous with a tendency towred the feminine, probably comes close.
Socially and politically they tend to identify strongly as a woman.
Physical presentation probably comes close to a soft butch, at least most
of the time. Except for the hair, which is probably low femme. Energetic
presentation tends to be closer to androgenous than feminine. Internal
gender perception is...well...complicated. Pronoun preference is almost
universally for she/her etc. (or "they" for people who know and understand
about the multiplicity.)

And of course, there are times when almost none of that applies.


if anyone wants to read our journal, you're welcome to, just be warned it often really intense.

we are disabled. we have fibromyalgia as well as lyme disease with 2 or 3 co-infections, so we have very very little enrgy. so please don't be offended if i don't post or reply much. we're in bed most of the time. speaking of which, we should go back there now.

oh, usually we will sign storyteller and if someone specific wants to sighn, they do it in a () afterward.

i hope this made sense. i'm glad this group is here and hope people feel safe haere.

take care all,
storyteller (jasmine, lori,ella, troy, and others)

Mood: tired

  2005.05.09  08.58
testing! testing! one, two, three.... is this thing on?

okay, I'm giving this thing a shot here... if only to better adjust the journal design!

I co-presented a workshop on this one actually... maybe more than once, I don't remember. The time I remember was at TSC in like... 2001?? I don't know, when was the last season of Buffy....

I'm trying to remember what we said were some big areas of shared experience between transgendered folks and multiple folks. Things like:

1. having lots of different names and seeming to change them a lot
2. being considered an extremely rare freak by the medical and psychiatric communities
3. having doctors and therapists think that they know what's wrong with you and how to fix it and that you shouldn't get any say in the matter, by virtue of how you identify
4. what else?

and of course, while the phrase has mostly fallen out of favor in the trans community, many multiple folks are literally a woman trapped in a man's body, or vice versa....

Mood: amused